He's at it again!

Remember on Monday how I told you how funny Jackson is.  Well today was no exception.  In order to not tell two stories at once let's just say I was off to a bad start, had something to do with showing up to preschool at normal time when they didn't have to be there until 11am this morning.  So this leads us to the fact that I begged my mum to come pick him up to drive him to school at 11am instead. 

So Jackson likes to talk a lot, especially in the car.  The conversation went a little like this, and you have to picture this as a completely serious conversation (he wasn't smiling or laughing at all):

J:  Grandma, me and Owen were smoking cigarettes last night.

G:  You were?

J:  Yeah, last night.  We drank beer too.

G:  You were?  Where?

J:  In front of my house.

G:  Where in front of your house?

J:  In Dad's truck.  But we threw the ends out the window so you couldn't find them.

G:  Oh.

J:  We're gonna smoke again tonight.  pause  Because I didn't cough.

So some time goes by with nothing being said.  Then he starts up again.  Totally serious.

J:  We're gonna smoke again tonight.  Because it didn't make me cough.

G:  Really?  You and Owen?

J:  Yep.  Me and Owen.  Because I didn't even cough.  We're gonna play video games too.

J:  Are you gonna tell my mom?

G:  no response  (I think she was speechless at this point).

J:  Well she won't give me a time out.

The End

So apparently my newly 5 year old son smokes cigarettes and drinks beer.  And apparently I won't give him a time out for it.  Where does he come up with this stuff I ask?!  I originally thought to myself that I don't even know anybody that smokes so where did he learn this.  Then I remembered that Jeramie's dad smokes, however only outside and I know Jackson isn't allowed out there with him if he's over at their house.  It's such a strange conversation! 

Jackson has quite an imagination.  Apparently so did Jeramie, so that's who I'm blaming!

Random Conversation

Scene:  I was in my bedroom with Oliver trying to get him to sleep.  I had locked my bedroom door so that the others wouldn't keep coming in and waking him back up again.  I'm sitting rocking Oliver and quietly reading my Kindle.

** knock knock ** on the door

I ignore it.

** knock knock **

Wyland:  "it not monnnster mommm .. it me .. Wyyyylin"

Who could not let him  in after that?

Love. It.

Jeramie's Healthy 2011 Journey

Jeramie was envious of my healthy ways.

So he insisted that he needed to start his own.

So we placed an order in a far distant land .. China.

We received this package:

And inside was this:

Which then meant he needed all these:

Okay .. well maybe the Calcium and D3 are mine .. maybe.

Then this weekend while I was at my movie

I received the following text message:

So I'm trying to work out and I'm facing towards the stairs thinking

that's better when the whole pull up bar falls off the door and

I tumble down six flights of stairs!

My leg hurts.

I could have been killed.

And now my door looks like this.

Because he ripped the top of the trim off the wall at the top of the basement stairs.

And guess who was upset I didn't ask if he was okay?

Umm .. clearly he's a man and if he wasn't ok he would have said so from the beginning right?

Monday morning I heard him telling his mom about what happened.

She laughed too.

Yet another reason we really need to get with the program and repaint

all the main living space in our house.

The P90X journey has just begun for Jeramie.

For now he needs to find somewhere else to do his pull ups.

I can't squeeze P90X into my running schedule right now.

But I haven't ruled out doing it at a later date.

On top of all this Jeramie has decided to follow in my footsteps.

Pride Day 5K in June

He's enlisting friends at work to run with him.

I'll probably run with him too.  Since by then I plan to be a 5K pro!

Not for the faint at heart.

So Wyland has been potty trained since around October of last year.  I'm proud to say he did so much earlier than Jackson did.  We didn't give him a choice since Oliver was coming and I downright wasn't prepared to buy diapers for 2 kids.  Well he still wears pull-ups when he goes to bed at night and ofter during his naps too.  He's rather unpredictable. Some days he wakes up after sleeping all night with a dry pull-up.  Other times he naps for an hour and soaks it.  Hit and miss I tell you.  I don't stress about it though.  At least during the day he's fully potty trained and I love it.

Well this past Sunday I was doing my grocery shopping.  We started at Costco and it must have worn him out.  During the drive from Costco to Target he had fallen asleep in the car.  No worries, I just pulled him out of his carset and sat him in the front of the cart and stuffed my coat down one side of him for him to lay his head down.  I was looking forward to a quiet shopping trip. 

Let's set the stage:

Wyland is in the basket in the normal spot that kids sit.

We go and get our coffee.

We're walking down the pasta aisle and all of a sudden something is dripping from my cart.

Yep .. you got it.

Wyland has peed.

(oh and he's still sound asleep)

I'm thinking .. crap.  But it's not the end of the world.

I've sent Baylee back to the Starbucks to get napkins.

I bend down to start cleaning it up and realize there isn't much on the floor.

Relief sets in.

BUT WAIT ...

My purse is on the bottom rack of the cart because he was sitting in the front.

There is a LARGE puddle of pee in my purse.

Yes .. true story.  Pee on my Kindle.  Pee on my iPod.  Pee EVERYWHERE.

Wyland's pee soaked the inside of my cute purse.

Good thing I have a sense of humor.  My mum just stood there and laughed at me.

Hysterically.

Good thing this kid is so cute.

Love these guys!

This post is so past due.  It actually dates back to Superbowl Sunday.  We headed up to my parents house.  The plan was that everyone would bring some snacks and we'd just snack through the whole game rather than have an actual meal.  These are some of everybodies favorite get togethers .. so delicious.  I didn't plan to skip them even though I've been doing really well on my diet.  My goal was to accept without guilt that I would not lose any weight this week. But as long as I consumed the naughty food within moderation then hopefully I wouldn't gain any weight.  In actual fact I lucked out and still lost almost 1.5 pounds the following Friday!  I was proud of myself though.  There was LOTS of really yummy snacks to partake in.  I had a full plate, but here's the thing ... see the old me would have kept eating just because it all tasted so delicious.  However, the new and improved me had a little bit of everything and then I STOPPED.  Sure I could have ate more, but I chose not to.  It was my first big test of will power and I declare it a WIN!

We were all (with the exception of Jeramie, because he always has to create opposition) were rooting for the Packers.  Rachel even showed up with her cheese head hat (which Jackson thought was super fun).  And then there is my brother Evan.  Never underestimate this kids desire to all things weird.  Awhile ago he was looking for a "bearded beenie" online.  He was prepared to pay $40 for one when my mum told him she could just knit him one herself.  My mother .. being who she is .. which is freakishly amazing really did it.  She got a pattern for the beenie itself and then freelanced on the beard. 

(1)  Who really wears these?  Apparently Evan.

Who also swears to not only wear it skiing but also to the bar.

Rachel is already embarrassed.

(2)  Now Jeramie wants one too.

** sigh **

Cheesehead and the weird bearded guy.

Jackson thought it was fun too.

So cute ..
Only a matter of time before Grandma is knitting one for Jackson too.

A Wyland Funny

Situation:  Me lying in bed with Wyland, me trying to go to sleep because I'm SO tired these days.  Wyland playing a game on my iPod Touch while also watching Max and Ruby.

Me:  "Wyland .. shhh .. Mommy is going night nights."

Wyland:  (ignores me)

Me:  (reach over and turn the volume down on the side of the iPod)

Wyland:  "Don't touch my iPod MOOOMMMMM!"

HAHA .. this kid cracks me up!!!!

Taste Bud Revolution

So I have been dieting, because you know .. summer is coming and all. Well when I diet so does Jeramie because I refuse to cook more than the 3 different combinations of meals. I currently fix dinner for Jeramie and I, then something different for Baylee, then another two meals for the boys. I can't wait for the day that we all eat the same thing (well with the exception of Baylee). So anyway Jeramie and I were eating dinner last night and he was grimacing about the vegetables on his plate. He and I have both agreed that we eat all the veggies first and save the good stuff until last. So he turns to me and he says, "Well when you're eating healthy it sure makes you really appreciate the good tasting stuff." That being whatever I have served along side the veggies.

Now this comment alone wouldn't have been strange but the irony was that I was thinking the EXACT same thing only a few hours earlier as I was driving home from work. I was eating a stick of string cheese. I was really concentrating on eating it slowly and really enjoying the flavor because it tasted SOOOO good. It's true, when you are dieting and you eat things other than fruits and vegetables, that "other stuff" just takes on a whole new level of flavor!! I mean seriously the "other stuff" last night was just a Lean Cuisine, Chicken Carbonara. It was a Lean Cuisine for goodness sake!! We were excited over a little frozen dinner. I just thought this was funny.

Jackson is so funny.

So last night I was laying in my bed reading my Kindle while Jackson laid next to me and was watching Dumbo.  I've been trying to get him interested in some of the traditional Disney movies so that Disneyland this summer will be more meaningful to him.  Well Jackson left for a little while to go see what Jeramie was doing and I just left the movie running because I knew he'd be back soon.  At one point I looked up and I saw like these men working on setting up the circus maybe (not completely sure since I wasn't really watching it).  It struck me as odd though because they were clearly "dark skinned" men but they didn't have faces.  It struck me as odd that they didn't have eyes and noses, maybe some had mouths.  It was just WEIRD, because they were missing faces but had ears.  So I remember thinking it was kind of strange and wow we have come a long way in animation!!  Not to mention it dated the movie because nowadays you wouldn't see only "dark skinned" people being the labor workers, it wouldn't be politically correct today.  Anyway, as I expected Jackson came back upstairs and was upset I had paused the movie.  So I had to rewind it to the beginning and he settled in to watch it.  I went back to my Kindle reading.  A little while later Jackson says, "Mom .. why don't those people have faces??"  HAHA!!!  He's such a smart kid!!  I just thought it was so funny that he noticed the exact same thing that I did.  Very interesting.

The Car - Evan and Rachel

I will start by telling you that Evan had a hand in DESTROYING my car after our wedding reception. I can also tell you without a doubt that what was done to his car was not as bad as my car. My car had DEAD FISH!!! And since Evan had participated actively in decorating my car he knew what he had to look forward to. Rachel on the other hand ...... not so much.

Ingredients to decorating a "Just Married" Car:

1. Streamers
2. Silly String
3. Sausages
4. Rice Krispies (they are a nightmare to clean up!!!)
5. Window paint
6. Condoms
7. Dead Fish (apparently optional)

The antenna.

Does this make him a Metro-Sexual?

So Friday night after the Harmon Halloween my mum was kind enought to take the kids home with her. Jeramie and I don't get much time for "date" nights. We really wanted to go see the movie Paranormal Activity. So we had about an hour and a half to kill before we needed to head to dinner so we went to the mall. We didn't really have much direction. Just going to check things out and enjoy window shopping without the normal screaming and whining children that usually accompany us. So as we were heading in I said to Jeramie, "Let's get our eyebrows waxed while we're here and have the time." He was all for it. See, Jeramie requested to have his eyebrows done before our wedding and found that he really liked having them professionally done. I don't know a single other man that enjoys this being done. However no complaints from me!! So in we went. When the lady finished with mine she started heading over to the register for me to pay and I reminded her that HE wanted his done too. There were three other women in there having their nails done .. ALL of them laughed. One of the ladies even said she would KILL to have her husband be willing to do that. Hilarious.

After the lady finished she said, "There, now we can

SEE your eyes!!"

We had yummy dinner at Texas Roadhouse.

This is one of our favorite places to eat.
The movie .. was GREAT!!

THE Pirate Ship

So this is the story you've all been waiting for. My parents had told us that we had to go on this Pirate Ship excursion. So we signed up for it when we booked our cruise. It was rumored to be tons of fun. So it's one of those all inclusive unlimited drink, food and entertainment. Let's just say Jeramie GOT HIS MONEY'S WORTH!!

From our ship.

THE ship.
On our way over. The Pirate Ship was within walking
distance from the cruise ship.

Our cruise ship.
Pretty rainbow as the pirate ship was sailing out.
Jeramie spent the first hour of the sail double fisting. I warned him that he should slow down because he was just getting very friendly with everyone around us. He had lots of friends at this point. He was telling people all kinds of made up stories about himself as well. Now if any of you know my husband you know that he can be completely enchanting and downright hilarious when he is drunk. So then it was time to head below deck for our meal. Jeramie came down but he didn't eat anything. Then he started to not feel so well. It was really rocky down there so it didn't completely surprise me.

This is the guy that was serving Jeramie a MILLION

Long Island Iced Tea's. So Jeramie never returned back to where we ate dinner. After I finished eating and they took us all back above deck Jeramie was nowhere to be found. So there I was hanging out by myself in our seats wondering where my husband was. Next thing I know they ask me to be in the "show". I was to be Pocahantis. So they pulled me behind stage to get ready. I kept looking out this little peep hole and still no Jeramie. Next thing I know someone comes back and asks if I am "Jeramie's wife"? I say, yes. And at this point I'm starting to feel a little horrified. They ask me to come with them. I know this can't be good.
They walk me to the VERY back of the ship .. where they keep the TRASH. There is my husband lying on top of bags of garage. He has barf all over himself! It's not enough that he's laying in his own barf, completely wasted but he keeps talking to me and then COMPLETELY passing out. Now it did cross my mind to take some pictures because I can't even begin to describe for you what this looked like. Apparently Jeramie was in the mens room and he passed out. They dragged him to the back of the boat. Because Jeramie can't seem to stay conscious they have called to have paramedics meet us at the dock. Jeramie at this point is rather freaked out himself, but I'll skip over those details. So as the show goes on there's us hanging out in the garbage. I am making every attempt to coax him into staying conscious. All I keep thinking is that if they take him to a Mexican hospital, what will we do? How will we get out stuff from the ship? How will we get our passports .. the list goes on.

So once the boat docked the paramedics came on board. They set Jeramie up with an IV to pump him full of fluids. He slowly starts to become more lucid again. While I was frustrated at the position he had put us in I also felt sorry for him because of the frantic state he had been in, not to mention it freaked me out a little bit when he couldn't stay conscious. They decided that he would be okay to return to the ship. But that still meant that he had to be pushed on the ship in a wheelchair. We were the first to be let off, so this meant that EVERYONE watched us depart. It was HUMILIATING. Jeramie took off his t-shirt with all the barf on and so he was wheeled off barechested. Then we were loaded into an ambulance and driven literally around the corner through the parking lot. They would NOT let us walk. Which actually made things even worse. Once we arrived (LATE) to the ship they would not let us board. They insisted on the onboard nurse coming to see Jeramie to determine whether he was well enough to let back on board. I spent the whole trip there telling Jeramie over and over that he needed to pull it together or else they would NOT let us back on board. Thank GOD they did.

We walked back to our cabin and I put Jeramie in the shower. Now that the situation was resolved and catastrophie was avoided I was MAD! It was kind of funny because the next day Jeramie went to use his cabin card to buy something and it was declined. They told him that he had to go to the pursers office. Turns out that the security office had to give Jeramie a lecture about responsible drinking. He had the nerve to be INSULTED!

So you'll hear many references to Jeramie and THE Pirate Ship and now you know the story!